


Silver

by Bearfeat



Series: Spectrum [21]
Category: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Genre: Other, we'll all be facing answers, when we check out at the hotel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8743063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bearfeat/pseuds/Bearfeat
Summary: After the Devil leaves, some things need clearing up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the second to last part of this series *cries* and I wanted to make this just one chapter, but it kept expanding so I had to split it up. Next chapter will be up in a day or two.  
> I wanted to use this part to clear some things up from Bronze, so if things are still a bit vague, please feel free to message me in the comments or on tumblr. I want to bring this to a good ending. *cries again*

As we all felt the tiresome night and morning come crushing down on us, we decided to lay down on the bed, to get some well-deserved rest. I listened to Papa and Omega breathing, and felt they were awake too.

Because the image of Papa sobbing on the floor was still so clear before my eyes, I pressed my face against his shoulder and my hand over his chest. His heartbeat felt so normal, as if he wasn’t a heart-broken demon at all. After a while, I felt some fingers intertwine with mine. The large rings pressed against my skin. I didn’t look up. I was afraid I might meet his gaze again.

 

‘I should have stayed away from you.’ Papa finally sighed. For a moment it was unclear to whom he was talking. For all I knew, he could have meant to regard the both of us. Omega answered.

‘You should have talked to me.’

‘That’s not fair.’ Papa whispered. ‘You didn’t talk to me either. I didn’t know about-’

‘Nothing here is fair.’ I said. It went quiet again. Omega lightly squeezed my hand.

 

‘I should have told you how I felt, and that it was forbidden.’ Papa continued. I closed my eyes. Sleep would have to wait, so it seemed. ‘I mean, I was not forbidden to love anyone, but Omega, I started loving you too deeply. I started neglecting my purpose here because I was… distracted. I started slipping up, treating myself so badly I couldn’t sing and perform rituals…’ his voice was a hoarse whisper. Omega stayed quiet.

 

‘When it all started, there was no question _if_ we were going to fuck. I was immediately attracted to you. I just had to think of a way to make you comfortable with the idea… which is where Chicago came in.’ I nodded. I knew this part of the story.

‘You seemed to be more eager than I expected.’ A slight smile broke through Papa’s voice. ‘I knew then we would have a good time together Omega, you and me, whenever we wanted. And I knew the two of you…’ he squeezed our hands, ‘were seeing each other too. Whenever you wanted. It was perfect. I thought that way I wouldn’t want to spend all my free time with you, and you would come to me less for things she could also give you.’

 

‘But something changed. One day, I woke up and you were gone. And nobody could tell me why. I was so lost. I felt so broken without you. Then, I knew it had gone too far between us. I thought I had pushed you too hard, insisted we’d play more and more, even if this body would not be able to handle it. I thought that was the reason you left. I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation until you lost your temper.’ Papa ran his fingertips over Omega’s knuckles. ‘I’d never seen you so upset.’

 

‘What happened?’ I squeaked. My voice was high-pitched and weak.

Omega sighed. ‘I punched a wall.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah.’

 

‘I thought that was why you left. Because of how I pushed you. At first, I thought you immediately had gone to her for comfort. I went to your place…’ he nodded in my direction, ‘to beg Omega to come back. Not even for me, but for the band. But he wasn’t there, and neither were you. I figured the two of you had gone away together. Later, Water told me Omega had gone back home to Sweden, and I found out you hadn’t seen each other for quite some time.’ I pressed my face against his shoulder again, and he turned his head, to place his forehead against mine.

‘You were on my mind a lot back then.’ He said. ‘I was convinced my plan to… forgive me, give you to each other, had failed. Somehow I was so stern in keeping you around, that even my host… this Guy, knew you couldn’t be left there on the streets of Chicago.’ Papa sighed and thought for a while.

 

‘He and I… I think we are more connected than we know. I always feel the last emotion he felt. It will flow through me, and then it will leave me. When it is anger, it sears through me, but when it is love…’ he took a deep breath and from the way I felt him turn his head I knew he was looking at Omega.

‘It started with a comfortable lingering familiarity. And then that grew deeper. Some minor heart-ache, then fiery passion, and eventually burning and needy love. That was right before you left. I didn’t even know that was for you, even though it would take longer and longer for that feeling to leave me.’

 

‘He feels everything you feel, Papa.’ Omega whispered. ‘I didn’t know it could happen the other way around.

‘It’s not entirely the same, of course.’

‘When he screams at the Devil.’ Omega suddenly said, voice more powerful now. ‘Is that because of you? Because of your inner turmoil?’ His fingers slipped from mine as he leaned up on his elbows to look at the other.

‘I am afraid so.’ Papa whispered.

 

I rolled to my back and pulled the blanket up to my chin.

‘So he knew about your plan.’ I stated. I felt the two men look at me. Then, I quickly opened my eyes and shot upright. I looked at Omega.

‘Did he tell you?’ I said.

‘Chicago, I swear he didn’t.’ he replied. ‘And I think he didn’t tell me… because he doesn’t think it is important.’ I opened my mouth, but Omega raised his hand to silence me. He sat up now too, facing me. ‘I get that you feel you got lured here under false pretenses, and I get that it sucks, but… look at what is really going on, here.’ He reached for my hand, and when I hesitated, he grabbed it.

‘What is really going on is that over the last couple of weeks, I have seen you smile so much. And I could have never expected that when I bumped into you in Chicago, Chicago.’ I looked up at him, and was met with a warm expression. ‘I want you to know this,’ he said, holding my hand tightly in both of his now, ‘I really want you to know, that he asked you to travel with us because he thought it would make me happy. And it does.’

 

The next moment of silence lifted a weight of my shoulders I didn’t realize pushed me down so hard. Then, some of the cold returned to my heart.

‘But the Devil just tried to rip our souls away.’ I stammered. Emeritus moved between us, clasping his hand over his chest as if he were to be buried soon.

‘Yes, Omega. Let’s get to the crux of this story.’ He said. ‘The Devil said your loyalty has shifted. She said you only love the man I inhabit, and then you said you love me still.’

‘ _You_ love everyone you are with.’ Omega replied, accusing tone.

‘You told me that too, Papa.’ I whispered.

Emeritus closed his eyes. ‘It is not the same.’

‘Why?’

He took a deep breath. Then his eyes opened again, piercing Omega’s. ‘Because of who we are. Because of who you are to me.’

 

Omega leaned back and his eyes left Papa’s and trailed the ceiling. He sighed deeply, and covered his eyes with both hands.

‘He is the love of my life.’ His voice sounded weak when he said it. I knew expressing emotions like this was difficult for him and I wasn’t sure he would have told us, or even said it out loud, if we weren’t in this situation. But when my heart sank in my chest I wished he hadn’t said it all.

 

‘There is no order in which I would list you.’ he said, looking at us. ‘I care for you both in very different ways. But if I had to make such a list, he would be number one. He would always be number one.’

I averted my eyes and stared at my hands in my lap, and noticed how strange my fingers looked, all chubby and scruffy from me biting my nails. I looked up when I heard my own name.

‘I am sorry.’ Omega said. ‘I didn’t know how you really felt. I would have been more careful if I did.’

I swallowed hard. ‘I am sorry I asked you to leave with me. I never expected you’d do it. I know I don’t compare to…’ I looked at Emeritus, who looked a little startled at the news of me wanting to run away with Omega, ‘to them.’

 

‘Like I said.’ Omega grabbed my hand again. ‘I care for you in very different ways. I don’t compare.’ Then he looked down at Emeritus. ‘And I didn’t tell you what was going on, because it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make me love you less.’ He swallowed. ‘And I wouldn’t want to cause a rift in the ways we are intimate, because…’ there was a small tremble in his voice, ‘because you will not be around for very much longer.’ A single, silent tear escaped from his eye, but he tore his hand away from me to wipe it out, even before it had the chance to touch his cheek.

 

Papa moaned, and sat up to wrap his arms around the ghoul. As Omega closed his eyes, I heard Papa whisper some things I couldn’t hear. Omega nodded, and Papa pressed his lips against the other’s. Then Papa kissed Omega’s forehead and for a moment the quintessence of their relationship caught me. For a moment, I saw how they saw each other. His Papa and his ghoul.

My Papa and my ghoul, I thought, as they both reached out their hands to me.


	2. Chapter 2

In my dream I was back in the dark and pulsing room the Devil had placed me in, mere hours ago. I felt cold and alone, but somehow I knew that this was just a dream, and in a few moments, or maybe longer, I would wake up. And I would still be in the same bed, Papa and Omega snoring next to me. I looked around, and went searching for clues the Devil might have left here for me. The room was pitch black, but I knew there was a reason I was here. The third act of this dreadful morning was going to be revealed to me. I moved around, my hands touching nothing but air, when two silhouettes approached me.

 

They loomed from the darkness and stood still right in front of me. They were children. I couldn’t tell if they were boys or girls, but one of them had a wide frame and a fair, kind face, and the other was absolutely tiny, and looked at me through one green eye, and one white. They both held their hands behind their back. From the instant, almost primal love I felt and the way they looked up at me I could tell I was their mother. In  my body I could feel that I had given birth to them both.

 

‘Is this what I needed to know?’ I stammered. ‘Is this my future?’ The smaller one tilted their head. I blinked. A possible future, I realized. Nothing was set in stone. The other one looked at me with bright eyes. _Do you think we can come back from this?_ I heard their voice inside my head. _Can you want the both of us?_

‘I get to have you two if I stay?’ I reached my hands out to my children, but my fingers missed them, no matter how hard I tried. They looked at me, accusing me with their stares.

 

‘I can’t.’ I said. ‘I want to, but I can’t. Oh, devils, I want to.’ I fell to my knees and held my hands up to my children, but they only hit cold air. ‘I need to feel like I have someone. I need that certainty. And I have loved… the both of you. And it’s not good for me.’ The smaller one tilted their head again, studying me.

‘There’s still so much I need to do.’ I whispered. ‘I need to hike to Canada. I am so sorry.’ The bigger one bit their lower lip and blinked.

‘I need to write my novel and work more crappy jobs.’ I said. ‘I am sorry, but I need to water my cactus. I need to call my mother.’

 

The smallest one moved their hands from behind their back and handed me a red rose. Then they both smiled for me, my children, and I watched the life leave their small faces as they both collapsed and died.

 

 

I woke up with a shuddering gasp and opened my eyes. I saw the light of midday forcefully making its way through the thin, white curtains and felt the men beside me slowly wake. I felt a strong bolt of happiness in my heart. I felt joy glow within me like a burning star. My hands were shaking as the adrenaline shot through me and white light exploded in my head. I pressed my eyes shut and silently thanked the Devil.

 

The men beside me stirred, and before I even looked at them, I knew they must have had similar dreams. I leaned over Papa and grabbed Omega by the shirt. As he was still blinking the sleep from his eyes, I crashed my lips against his. Cupping his face with both hands, I grasped his lower lip between my teeth and sucked him into my mouth, and then I let go to press my wet lips over his mouth. He reciprocated, carefully, but I broke away from him and quickly moved my attention to Papa, who had tried to shuffle away from under me. I pushed him down into the mattress. He seemed more ready for me when I shifted my weight onto him and pressed my lips against his. Our mouths opened at the same time and my hunger took over when our tongues met in a sloppy dance.

 

‘What… what is going on?’ I heard Omega’s sleepy voice beside us. My breath hitched in my chest and I pulled away from Papa, who looked up at me with a knowing grin.

‘What...?’ Omega sighed again and I lunged back at him, surprising him again as I moved my hand in his hair and balled it into a fist, running my tongue over his lips.

 

‘This,’ Papa said, as he watched Omega adjust under me, ‘this is Chicago kissing us goodbye.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick around for Gold: the last part in this series.
> 
> Also my friend was inspired by this chapter to draw the children. You can find her drawing here: https://bearfeat42.tumblr.com/post/154782633130


End file.
